Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
