Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
