why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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