i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize