Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
