What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize