You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
