Is it normal to miss your booty call?
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
