I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
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Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
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I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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