hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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