you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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