Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
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There is too much vodka and too much dick.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
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But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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