She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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