I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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