either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
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