The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
