oh god the rape fog is back!
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
A bitchslap is in order.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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