The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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