The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize