So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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