You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
