I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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