i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
