Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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