DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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