I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
