I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Michael Bay diarrhea
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
