While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
