idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
