I love having hate sex.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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