The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Come see our sink grown plant.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
