i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
