Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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