escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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