i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize