The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
