If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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