Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
