I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
