it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
