I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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