I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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