We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize