I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
This is classic penis vs brain.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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