I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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