So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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