the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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