my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You may now shotgun with the bride
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
