i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize