I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
