A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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