Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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