she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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